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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:54 am 
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The Guy with the Penis
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So Axel calls me at 1430, saying that Hyvee says they can't sell him a ticket to the show. I check online at ticketmaster and their site will let you do will-call. ok, cool. he buys a willcall, but i don't. there'll be tix at the door, right? there always are.

we make the trek to Lawrence uneventfully, punctuated by a stop at the Bethany Subway, staffed by one very experienced lady and one lady for whom it's her first day on the job. Needless to say it takes a little while for us to get our sandwiches, but we get out in decent time. We finish the ride to Lawrence and find a parking spot just down the street from the venue. So far so good.

As we get to the venue, we see a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry long line in front of us. We walk by it and it just...keeps...going. Me and Fuzzy, who also doesn't have a ticket, start to get an odd feeling in our stomachs. Vrba goes to grab his glasses from the car, and when he comes back, he informs us that there's a "sold out" sign on the ticket window.

uh oh.

we stick in line, just to see what'll happen. as we near the door, they split up the ID-reading/wristband-giving and ticket-taking functions into two groups of staff. as we get to the guys reading IDs, I show him mine and i'm provided with a wristband. I proceed to go stand around. Fuzzy is asked "do you have a ticket?", and in a moment of idiocy answers "no". ("When somebody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!" heh.) so the four with tickets (adruma, wargazm, vrba, smallz) all head in, while me and Fuzzy sit around outside lookin' dumb. we go back to the car just to see what ticketmaster online sez (yay laptops+cellphones)...no dice. ticketmaster at hyvee...closed. we walk back to the venue. there's a door that people are coming out of to smoke, but there's a bouncer right inside. no luck there. we walk around back...bouncer. so we plant outselves outside the front door and observe.

after a while, we notice that people who've been smoking are re-entering. they don't seem to be showing their ticket either. hmmm...handstamps? we discreetly glance at people's hands, but see no telltale ink on them. no ticket flashing, no stamps...it dawns on us that they're just looking at wristbands.

hey, napalm has a wristband! sweet! but Fuzzy doesn't. ass. he has the idea of markering up his hand with the X's that underage people get on them. we walk back to the car, but i don't have a marker. jimmy johns to the rescue! we ask for a marker. the guys watch us slap X's on Fuzzy's hands and start laughing. i explain "we don't have tix, but between my wristband and his X's, we're hoping we can sneak in anyways." they laugh some more and wish us luck.

back observing the door...and we hear "no, you can't get back in if you're under 21." shit. Fuzzy's fucked. we observe more, and decide for me to go in and try to snag a wristband from the rest of the crew. i wait for a group of guys to finish smoking, tail behind them, take a deep breath, and casually flash my wrist as i walk by the doormen.


SWEET. i'm fucking in. i wander around, looking for the rest of the crew, and hear "drew!" from above me. i look up, and wargazm's on a balcony above me. i run up the stairs and explain the situation. we decide to carefully remove a wristband, take some ticket stubs too, and find some tape to put the wristband on Fuzzy. I watch Children of Bodom play 3 or so more songs (I missed the first band, Throwdown, and most of COB's set...eh, no biggy). Then, vrba snags some keys from the kids in front of us and does a slick job slicing his wristband off so it's still passable. i head out with the band and stubs.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:56 am 
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The Guy with the Penis
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me and Fuzzy walk back to JJs. he heads into the bathroom to remove the offending X's from his hands. then, he grabs some tape from the counter and we re-fasten the wristband. as long as he keeps that part towards his body, he's set. we walk back to the club. i walk in first without incident and head upstairs to wait. a minute or so later, Fuzzy walks in grinning. fuck yeah. grins all around. Fear Factory isn't even playing yet. perfect timing.

Fear Factory and Lamb of God proceed to crank out two killer sets.

fuckin' metal. \\m/ \\m/

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:02 am 
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The Guy with the Penis
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oh yeah, and the lesbian story:

http://www.observer.com/pages/world.asp

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:03 am 
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Masturbator of Puppets
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now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

That was the best performance by Lamb of God I've seen yet. They SLAYED.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:09 am 
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Moral of the story, never buy tickets in advance at that venue. Let the other half of your group do it.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 5:18 am 
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i dont really have anything to add...but i feel the need to post in this thread.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:13 am 
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Sneaking into a show: A how (not) to guide

As a general disclaimer, I would just like to say that I fully intended to pay for this show. I guess Smallz and Axel paid like 33 at the door for their tickets.

Smallz and Axel had gone with will call tickets, Vrba and Adruma came down with theirs already in pocket. Drew and I had decided, separately, to buy tickets when we got to the venue.

We get to Lawrence, KS about 7:45 PM. We have to park a few blocks from the venue and walk the rest of the way. Approaching the venue I noticed that the line to get in is disturbingly long, but I thought nothing of it. The line stretched a couple of blocks away from the venue and we dutifully took our place in line.

It wasn?t more than 5 minutes until the rumor started spreading that the show was sold out. Vrba had gone to the car to retrieve his glasses when he realized we were not going to be on the rail for this show and on his way back he noticed a sign on the ticket window that read ?sold out.? In my infinite idealism I had hoped that the sign was there to turn away the suckers, the non-dedicated fans.

The line started to move, and as we neared the venue doors some dudes were out amongst the people checking IDs. Drew gets his bracelet but when they come to me the guy asks me, ?Do you have a ticket??

TIP: ALWAYS SAY YOU HAVE A TICKET, UNLESS YOU ARE ASKED TO SHOW PROOF

I did not have a ticket and told the guy as much. He said the show was sold out. I looked at Drew and we both slowly exited the line. Now our brains shift into high gear. How are we going to get into the show? Hanging around out front there are about 50 people looking for tickets, so just waiting around wasn?t in our best interest. How can we get into this show?

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:15 am 
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By this time Throwdown was already on stage and legions of ticketed individuals kept piling into the show. There is a side door to the venue that Drew and I decide to check out. People keep pouring out of it, but upon inspection there was a bouncer sitting just inside and to the right of the door. That option was out. Ditto for the back door, there was a guard perched just outside the door and he sure wasn?t going to let us pass. Could we still get tickets from TicketMaster some how? Better check online.

Drew has a handy-dandy cell phone/pda that gets intarweb access. We had all witnessed its power on the way down by getting to read a story about lesbians as told by John Kerry. On our way back to the Suburban, I had ran into a bar to take a piss. When I get to the Beast drew had his laptop out, it was connected to his cars power source and then to his cell phone. He was just clicking to TicketMaster.com and searching for the concert. Online ticket sales had already been shut down for the show, scratch that option off the list. There were two local TicketMaster sites, but were they still open? With Drew?s cell phone still in use we needed to find a different one. Fortunately everyone on this trip had a cell phone and at least a couple of them were courteous enough to leave theirs in the car. Adruma?s was the first one I found but I couldn?t get a signal on it. Thanks, Adruma. Then we found Axel?s; it worked fine. We called the HyVee where the TicketMaster was located ? TicketMaster outlets close at 7:30 on Saturdays ? FUCK.

We head back to the venue feeling somewhat lost. There are still about 100 people milling around out front. Some are waiting for tickets, others had come outside for a fresh air/smoke break. We start to watch the people who re-enter. It doesn?t appear like they are checking ticket stubs. They are just checking hands and wrists. Kids that weren?t 21 received black Xs on their hands. So here was the scheme. Put some Xs on my hands and I?ll enter the venue with Drew. His bracelet and my Xs should be more than enough proof that we both belong there. We need a black marker.

We head back to the car and Drew checks his multiple carry-alls, compartments and utility bags (they?re European). No marker to be found. Just up the street is a Jimmy Johns. Drew says ?Jimmy Johns has markers.? But what do I say so that they will let me use their marker? Maybe I don?t need an excuse.

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if I'd never felt the sunshine
I wouldn't curse the rain
if my feet could fit a track
lord, I would have been a train


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:16 am 
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?Can I use your marker?? I ask the friendly looking deli-man. He hands it over and stares as I make an X on my left hand. Drew states calmly that we have no tickets and want to sneak in. The deli guys laugh, with us not at us, and Drew critiques the X I had drawn. It wasn?t good enough, it needed to be thicker. So he scribbles big Xs on both of my hands. They are ugly and I am apprehensive.

We head back towards the venue. As we neared the doors I overheard the comment ?They aren?t letting minors back in.? FUCK. I look at Drew, Drew looks at me. If I walk through those doors they won?t let me back in ? at least without ticketing me. I tell Drew that I am going to need a ticket. Drew and I wait a few more minutes before he says ?Screw it? and walks into the venue. He doesn?t get kicked out.

I wait around the front of the venue and Children of Bodom must just have gotten done because people, all above 21, begin to exit the venue for some of that sweet Kansas air. Drew arrives. He says ?I have two ticket stubs and a bracelet.? Ok, now how do we make this work. For starters, if I am going to wear the bracelet, I can?t have the Xs on the back of my hand. The Xs that were conveniently drawn in Sharpie marker. Second of all, the bracelet which Vrba had carefully torn ? as best he could ? would need tape to stay on my wrist. Again, Jimmy Johns provides solutions to both of these problems.

At Jimmy Johns I head to the bathroom to clean the Xs off my hands. I must have drained the soap dispenser to scrub that marker off. In the process I irritated the skin on the back of my hands? stupid permanent marker. Eventually the marks are reasonably off my skin. I exit the bathroom and Drew hands me the torn bracelet as he enters the can. I walk to the Jimmy Johns counter and see the tape dispense lying unwatched. I snatch a piece of tape and head back near the bathrooms. The bracelet tapes back together fairly well so with confidence we walk back to the venue.

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if I'd never felt the sunshine
I wouldn't curse the rain
if my feet could fit a track
lord, I would have been a train


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:17 am 
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Drew says ?No offense, but I am going to go into the venue before you do. We will be upstairs ? if you get in.? I did not take offense to this statement because I had already considered this. He?d already had success getting in and I didn?t want to jeopardize his chances. He enters first and I wait a minute, building up courage. I see a wrist banded gentleman walking towards the doors and I quickly fall inline with him.

Keeping my wrists casually at my sides, tape towards me, I stroll by the ?security.? Not a problem. I get right in and my heart is pounding. I walk up the stairs and look around, not sure what I am looking for. I hear ?D!? in Vrba?s familiar grunt. I turn around and there Adruma, Axel, Drew, Smallz and Vrba stand. They welcome me and I feel like a soldier must when he returns home. In about 10 minutes Fear Factory began to play.

I had missed the first two bands, but Fear Factory and Lamb of God were easily worth the cost of admission. To not be a complete bastard I bought a Lamb of God shirt.

My final thought: When you are going to be leaving the state to see a show. Even if you don?t think it will sell out, purchase a ticket. In fact, purchase tickets in advance for all shows you are going to attend. Purchasing tickets let?s the band know that they are loved, and the venue know that they should bring similar acts to your area. That and then they won?t fucking cancel Slayer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There you have it, 1500 melodramatic words. oh, and:

too long; didn't write.

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if I'd never felt the sunshine
I wouldn't curse the rain
if my feet could fit a track
lord, I would have been a train


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 11:49 pm 
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Location: Laying on the carpet that tied the freakin room together!
this could have been the script to a Lamb of God music video if only you had a fight, hookers, and drugs mentioned in there...

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 2:26 am 
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hey d, that was a great story, you should tell it again...


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 2:27 am 
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if you insist...

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if I'd never felt the sunshine
I wouldn't curse the rain
if my feet could fit a track
lord, I would have been a train


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 4:06 am 
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here's my version:

this show kicked ass.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 08, 2019 2:31 pm 
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The Guy with the Penis
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https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comm ... t/f6wh9zx/

Quote:
A friend and I once snuck 15 people into a Warped Tour by giving them some bracelets from a party supply store and clipboards full of paper. Walked up to the side gate and said we were with Rock The Vote. The security guard waved us right in.

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